Archive for the ‘Humor’ Category

peeweeThis post receives about 500 hits per week.

It’s always number 1 for each day, week, and year.

What does that say about the peeps who read it?


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I was walking past the mental hospital the other day, and all the patients were shouting, “13… 13… 13.”

The fence was too high to see over, but I saw a little gap in the planks, so I looked through to see what was going on.

Some idiot poked me in the eye with a stick, then they all started shouting, “14… 14… 14.”

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Driven Ms. Crazy

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There were some Dummycrats around the dinner table last night.

Just before dessert, just to put my finger in the wind, I asked them the following,

“So, you guys still like Obama?”

The look of utter astonishment, as if I asked them if the sky was still blue, telegraphed their answers before they could open their mouths.

Unanimously they wondered why wouldn’t they still like him.

Then the descent into playground tactics began.

First the ha-ha Romney isn’t running.

Next up, so Christie is the one.

They couldn’t get it that both of them are too left wing for me.

Then the attack on Sarah Palin.

Q: Why don’t you like Palin
A: She is stupid, she says stupid things. She said she can see Russia from her house.

Q: Have you been to her house? How do you know she can’t see Russia? Do you know how close Russia is to Alaska?
A: She’s just stupid and says stupid things.

Q: What else has she said that is stupid?
A: I don’t know she’s just stupid.

Q: I guess you like Liarwatha or Cankles for president?
A: Yes. Hillary is so smart.

Q: What makes her so smart. What smart things has she done or said?
A: She was Secretary of State.

Q: What were her great accomplishments as Secretary of State or senator?
A: I don’t know. She’s just smart.

These are educated people with professional degrees.

May God have mercy on us all.

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Do we not call a spade a spade anymore?

We have all used the euphemistic and polite expression, “stomach problems”.
What this really means is asshole problems.
Either your asshole is working overtime or it’s on strike.
There is actually nothing wrong with your stomach.

More sinister than this are the duplicitous and deceptive terms “lone wolf” and “self-radicalized”.
Is every attack an isolated lone wolf? Wolves usually move in packs. These lone operatives are separate fingers on the same hand.
And self-radicalized? These assholes are sitting in bubbles and come up with this shit on their own?
Like no one is mind molding them from shit-head central?

Any one who uses or gives these terms credence and legitimacy is an accessory after (maybe even before) the fact and should be treated accordingly.

They also have an official TMQ2 invitation to:

– – –

Read more ‘spade’ theme essays here at TMQ2.

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Al “Charlatan” Sharpton

Al Sharpton was in Sears. He was there to protest the fact that almost all of the washing machines were white.

So the clerk called the store manager, who asked, “What’s the problem here, Reverend?”

Sharpton pointed at the machines and loudly bemoaned the fact that most of them were white.

The manager replied, “Well, Reverend, it’s true that most of the washing machines are white, but if you’ll open the lids, you’ll see┬áthat all the agitators are black.”

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Miss Beatrice, the church organist, was in her eighties and had never been married. She was admired for sweetness and kindness to all. One afternoon the pastor came to call on her and she showed him into her quaint sitting room. She invited him to have a seat while she prepared tea.

As he sat facing her old pump organ, the young minister noticed a cut-glass bowl sitting on top of it. The bowl was filled with water. In the water floated, of all things, a condom! When she returned with tea and scones, they began to chat. The pastor tried to stifle his curiosity about the bowl of water and its strange floater, but soon it got the better of him and he could no longer resist.

“Miss Beatrice”, he said, “I wonder if you would tell me about this?” pointing to the bowl.

“Oh, yes” she replied, “isn’t it wonderful? I was walking through the park a few months ago and I found this little package on the ground. The directions said to place it on the organ, keep it wet and that it would prevent the spread of disease. And, you know, I haven’t been sick all winter.”

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