There’s an old belief that people look like their dogs.

I can go a step further and tell you my dog is an obnoxious f*cker just like me.

I was a soldier and adapted to that world by becoming detached and hard. I had to in order to survive.

Now I have a 2-year-old dog, a Blue Heeler/Australian Shepherd mix whom I named Bruiser, a very fitting name.

He weened himself at 4-weeks and that’s when I got him. 4-weeks!

From the beginning, he was like dealing with a wolf pup: All instincts and f*ck you, I’ll take what I want.

Two years later and a plethora of new scars all over my arms and legs from his sharp teeth (while just playing with him), I have a dog who ripped down the privacy fence between my yard and three huge dogs next door because he doesn’t like them barking at him.

The fence was 8-ft tall and had 9 deck screws per plank. It’s now in splinters on the ground.

The neighbor has added several sheets of plywood on his side to keep Bruiser out.

He ripped the entire fence down and proceeded to chew those dogs a new asshole, all at the same time.

They jumped their fence and fled throughout the neighborhood to escape.

Turns out my neighbor is a high school coach and hated for his bully dogs who always kill local dogs when roaming.

So, I gleam with pride knowing that my 50-lb mutt kicked all their asses and ran them off.

Bruiser is now the local hero in my tiny Texas town.

My ex-wife was playing around one day and pretended to attack me.

He leaped over the couch like a pole-vaulter and knocked her to the floor in 2 seconds.

I don’t need a firearm with this guy. He’s lightning-fast and smart as a whip.

We should all be so lucky!

I would gladly jump in front of a freight train to save his life. He’s the best friend I’ve got.

Bruiser
I caught Bruiser on my bed sneaking a nap. He does as he pleases.