Muhammad’s Little Penis

By Shlomo

We in the West insist on carefully reexamining and rereading every detail about Muhammad, especially because Muslims the world over have gone to such great lengths to illustrate how important Muhammad is and what he looked like.

Because it might offend some of our readers, no full body illustrations of a buck-naked Muhammad are shown here. There’s plenty of Jesus material on the internet, what with all those naked renditions of Jesus on the cross, and when his penis is covered, the thin little hanky hardly hides the enormity of Jesus’ package. So we won’t be redundant.

From the Bible, we know David, unlike Goliath, was not very tall. And thanks to Michelangelo’s graphic imagination, we all know precisely what Michelangelo saw each time he summoned David’s penis in his mind’s eye.

I must proffer, that never has a single Christian or Jew had a cat fit over such depictions.

Nor have we ever insisted on seeing Muhammad with his clothes off. However, after all the nonsense and killings – thanks to the cartoons published in a Danish newspaper – Christians, Jews, Hindus and Muslims alike have earned the right to get equal time, not only to see Muhammad’s face and physique, but also to see Muhammad’s penis.

It’s no longer possible for anyone anywhere to be so ignorant as to imagine Muslims don’t get excited when they also see a picture of Muhammad, so we too feel we deserve the right to see him in all his glory.

And of course, it’s not just his penis we’re interested in, but by the day we’re all boning up and learning as much as we can about everything there is to know about Muhammad – his life, his writings, and of course, his penis.

Plus, because Muslims have been whining about how humiliated they were over Abu Ghraib, we thought they would be more than happy to show us their stuff. So we inquired, wanting to learn as much as possible about Muslim successes, their cultures, accomplishments, and friends – so we could share all that is impressive with you here. And especially, we have done our best to learn about what makes Muhammad so great.

After writing so many articles about Islam, readers have been asking over and over, but what about Muhammad’s penis?

So due to popular demand, here it is:

Even if you thought there was scant evidence upon which to describe that part of Muhammad’s body, you’d be wrong. My favorite hadith that seems to tell us all we have to know is found in: sahih Bukhari Volume 7, Book 62, Number 64:

Here it tells us about ‘Aisha…

“the prophet married her when she was six years old and he consummated his marriage when she was nine years old.”

We know from Quran verses 33:37, 44:54, and 52:20 that Bukhari used zawaj and nikah to mean marriage. We also know according to the hadith that the important word is not nikah, but udkhilath.

In Arabic the meaning of the word dakhala is clear. The root of the verb udkhilath is dakhala which means to enter (insert, enter, pierce, penetrate, drive into, thrust, to consummate a marriage; For a complete list of Quranic verses containing the word dakhala, go here).

There is no question whatsoever, based on all the best scholars’ work, that Muhammad had sexual intercourse with ‘Aisha when she was nine years old.

We know ‘Aisha was made his bride when she was still a virgin. Thus, Muhammad married her when she was but a little girl, and then he consummated the marriage when she got big enough for him to fit his erect member inside her.

Because ‘Aisha’s 9-year-old vagina was so narrow, we know the only way Muhammad could have had sex with her was because his penis was also very narrow. Hence, Muhammad is known to have had a “pencil dick.” However, when referring to Muhammad, many have argued that the more appropriate term is “needle dick.”

These metaphors…blah blah

Either way, in Arabic the meaning is the same.

One comment

  1. I always figured they had small dicks and little huevos. Thanks for putting facts to theory.

    Muslims, been trying to take over the world for the last 1400 years, inept little dick donkey fuckers. They should give it up.

    Like

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