Originally posted July 27, 2008 by Shlomo Muslim, PhD.
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Arab Flight Crew Completes Schooling
Airbus $200 million aircraft meets retaining wall and the wall wins
When choosing what airline to fly on, the non-Muslim flying public should know how incompetent Arab flight crews are. Plus, pilots and aerospace engineers will find this worth reading.
People know Arab pilots excel at flying into water and buildings, but after many years of training they’ve added “flying” into walls on the ground to their list of capabilities. Unfortunately they still suck at safely flying aircraft from one airport to another.
This is the story of a group of Muslim pilots in their brand spanking new Airbus 340-600, the largest passenger airplane ever built. The new plane sat in its hangar in Toulouse, France without a single hour of airtime.
Then the Arab flight crew arrived from Abu Dhabi Aircraft Technologies (ADAT) to conduct the pre-delivery tests on the ground, which among other things include engine run-ups. When the plane passed all tests the crew was to deliver it to Etihad Airways in Abu Dhabi.
As normally happens in such situations, the A340-600 was taxied to the designated run-up area. A run-up is when the pilots rev the engines to full-blast to make sure they run properly. The ADAT pilots took all four engines up to takeoff power with a virtually empty aircraft.
One of the things pilots normally do before flying a plane, is they read the manuals. Included is the section on run-ups. Unfortunately, either these pilots were training, much like other Arabs have trained, just for special skills. In this case, instead of training to fly a full plane of passengers into the ocean or full planes of passengers into buildings, this A340-600 crew must have trained to fly planes into walls.
When they had all four engines going full-blast the takeoff warning horn started to blare in the cockpit. That’s because the aircraft computers thought the pilots were trying to takeoff. However, the pilots hadn’t configured the plane’s flaps and slats and so on for take-off.
Instead, one of the ADAT crew pulled the circuit breaker on the Ground Proximity Sensor to silence the alarm. Because none of the pilots had read the manual, they didn’t know this fools the aircraft into thinking it is in the air. At that point the computers automatically release the brakes which sets the aircraft rocketing forward.
At this point the ADAT crew had no idea what to do. Not one of the seven-man Arab flight crew was smart enough to throttle back the engines from their max power setting. Apparently this explains why the $200 million brand-new aircraft crashed into a blast barrier, totaling it. At least that’s what the Arabs are saying, because they prefer to sound incompetent instead of sounding like terrorists.
The extent of injuries to the crew is unknown because of the a news blackout in all French media and among other media elsewhere. Allah forbids stories that might insult even one hothead Muslim or Arab.
Luckily, the story and the photos are just starting to leak out.