VIDEO: PAT CONDELL ON THE GREAT JESUS SWINDLE

Read Full Post »

2006 REDUX

A Christmas Message from Jesus

JESUS CHRIST

by JESUS H. CHRIST

Well, it’s that time of year again.

Peace on Earth and Goodwill Towards Men as we jockey for position on check out lines and slug-fest our way to grab the last PlayStation 3, or whatever the toy of the year is.

I always get a little depressed before my birthday, but this year I find myself overcome with one of the deadly seven sins — envy.

How can this be?

As I look back on the year, all I can think about is how much Muslims do for Mohammed: Kidnappings, beheadings, murder of non-believers, murdering fellow Muslims, homicide bombings; I get dizzy from all the honor bestowed on my esteemed colleague. It’s a litany of acts that go above and beyond anything Christians have done for me lately.

Where is the Sword of Christ for Christ sakes?

Are Christians still buying into that turn the other cheek prank?

Think back a few short years to what was done to Jews for my sake. I can’t even get a speck of Onward Christians Soldiers when it comes to Islamofascists.

Is it because the Jews were no threat and easy to pick on?

Now there is a threat to Christianity unseen since Roman lions in the coliseum and I can’t even get a “Hoorah” from any one.

Are Christians too busy these days marveling at the miracle of my image appearing in someone’s mashed potatoes?

I’m one-third of the frickin’ Trinity.

If I’m going to make an appearance, it will be something grander and more concrete than putting my face in a bowl of soup.

Don’t worry so much about putting Christ back in Christmas. I would have a happier birthday if people put Christ up the poop shoot of jihadists before Christmas itself is subject to laws of dhimmitude world-wide.

Blessed are the peacemakers, and I’m talking about 50-caliber peacemakers. Celebrate my birthday by standing up to Islamofascism any chance you get. It’s the best present any Son of God could ask for.

Merry Christmas to all and to all a good night… wait… that’s Santa’s line.

OK. Just Merry Christmas.

______________________________________________________________
Originally posted at the TMQ1 site by Jesus H. Christ – 12/20/2006 12:18:00 PM

Read Full Post »

Video: Happy Birthday Jesus Sung Marine Corp Style

From the movie, Full Metal Jacket…a classic. Happy birthday to Jesus sung by Marine Corp Drill Instructor (R. Lee Ermey) during basic training.

Read Full Post »

Ann Coulter: SCROOGE WAS A LIBERAL

It’s the Christmas season, so godless liberals are citing the Bible to demand the redistribution of income by government force. Didn’t Jesus say, “Blessed are the Health and Human Services bureaucrats, for theirs is the kingdom of heaven”?

Liberals are always indignantly accusing conservatives of claiming God is on our side. What we actually say is: We’re on God’s side, particularly when liberals are demanding God’s banishment from the public schools, abortion on demand, and taxpayer money being spent on Jesus submerged in a jar of urine and pictures of the Virgin Mary covered with pornographic photos.

But for liberals like Al Franken, it’s beyond dispute that Jesus would support extending federal unemployment insurance.

This has absolutely nothing to do with the Bible, but it does nicely illustrate Shakespeare’s point that the “devil can cite Scripture for his purpose.”

Read Full Post »

Now Seriously Folks

A Republican walked into a bar and asked the bartender, “Isn’t that Jesus
over there?” When the bartender said “Yes,” the Republican sent over a
drink. “Put it on my tab,” he said.

A little later a Libertarian walked in. “Say,” he said, “Isn’t that
Jesus sitting over there?” The barman said, “Yes,” so the Libertarian
sent over a hamburger.

Presently a Democrat showed up, noticed Jesus and sent over a plate of
french fries.

Jesus soon left. On his way out he stopped to talk to the Republican.
“Thanks for the drink,” he said; “It was really good. Is there anything
I can do for you?” “Well,” said the Republican, “I’m facing knee
surgery…” “Don’t say another word,” said Jesus as he laid a hand on
the man’s knee. “You are healed.”

Jesus came to the Libertarian and said, “Thanks for the hamburger. It
was really good. Is there anything I can do for you?” “Well,” said the
Libertarian, “I have cataracts…” Jesus placed his fingers on the man’s
eyes and said, “You are healed.”

Finally, Jesus came to the Democrat. He thanked him for the fries and
offered him any help he needed. “Don’t touch me!” shouted the Democrat,
“I’m on Disability!!”

Read Full Post »

The Antichrist Revealed

Happy Thanksgiving

Wait no longer for the Antichrist, for the Antichrist has come. In II Thessalonians, the Apostle Paul told that the coming of the Messiah would be preceded by the revelation of the Antichrist who would come and sit in the Temple of God posing as God.

Well folks, that’s already happened! Jesus came. He went to the Temple. And thanks to 1.5 billion believers, without a doubt we can say he was the false one, the one who thousands of millions would falsely believe was God, or God’s son, or whatever.

It took almost 2,000 years, but now the believers are beginning to see their mistake. How they twisted the words of the Hebrew Bible to mean something different, and how they turned Jesus into something he wasn’t.

Now we see the “Christ” was actually the Antichrist.

This is good news!

For this news we should all give thanks.

Hence, Thanksgiving.

Read Full Post »

Music Video: Mary Did You Know Your Baby Boy Would One Day [Claim to] Walk on Water?

Dedicated to Shlomo Muslim PhD, Lawrence of Bessarabia and Word-Drum, because I’m the only one who was raised Christian around here…

I can also walk on water, as long as I know where the rocks are.

Read Full Post »

And the Ass He Rode In On

Remember the ass on which Jesus rode into Jerusalem?

It was Palm Sunday, or that’s what Christians call it now. Christians celebrate Palm Sunday, and whenever they get the chance they visit all the places where Jesus is reputed to have visited during his life.

Unfortunately, Christians haven’t been as Christian when it comes to remembering the ass on which Jesus rode into Jerusalem. That ass was a Syrian onager, which was hunted for sport by the Persian nobility for many centuries. Young onagers were captured and bred for riding animals. What you probably didn’t learn from your good reverend on Palm Sunday is the Syrian onager of Jesus fame is now extinct. It was hunted to death for meat.

Don’t think the Jews did it. They don’t hunt down such animals for food. Such food isn’t Kosher. In the wild, in some places where the Syrian onager used to live, now the Persian onager lives, and it too is seriously endangered.

If you want to find writings predating Jesus about such animals, check out Jeremiah 2:24, where he speaks of the “wild ass used to the wilderness, that snuffeth up the wind in her desire…”

Read Full Post »

Obama The Anointed One

Francophiles often have the name Franc. Ezra Pound’s last name was Pound. Lots of Germans are named Mark or Herr Marx. Jews and Gentiles alike. But in America no one is named Mr. Dollar. Lots of people named William are called Bill. Even the Dollar and the Buffalo are called Bill. But why, in a proud country of over 300 million, is no one, Jew or Gentile, named Mr. Dollar?

Perhaps it’s for the same reason that Paul rarely called Jesus merely Jesus. He always preferred to call him either “Jesus Christ” or “Christ Jesus,” or “the Lord Jesus Christ.” When Paul called Jesus “Christ,” he meant Jesus was the man on Earth through whom God was working. The “Christ” title is the Greek form of the Hebrew word meaning anointed (messiah).

Wasn’t it Louis Farrakhan, former leader of the NOI (Nation of Islam) who called Barack Obama “The Anointed One”?

Although the anointed one can refer to a king or to someone anointed to rule for God, when referring to a man the term is usually used to mean a man who has a special role to play in the purpose of God. When Louis Farrakhan talks about God, he’s talking about Allah. And when he speaks of Obama, he means, he, Farrakhan is a prophet, and he is telling us that Obama’s role is to fulfill Allah’s purposes here on Earth.

Read Full Post »

Thou Shalt Love They Neighbor As Thyself

Question: Who was the first to say, “Thou shalt love thy neighbor as thyself”?

Answer: If you thought it was Jesus or Hillel, think again. In Leviticus 19:18 and Leviticus 19:34 attribution goes to none other than the Lord, who told Moses to say this to the Children of Israel.

Read Full Post »

The Meek Shall Inherit The Earth

Question: Who is described in the Bible as “very meek, above all the men that were on the face of the earth”?

Answer: If you think the answer is Jesus you would be wrong. The answer is Moses (Numbers 12:3).

Read Full Post »

British Prime Ministers’ Famous Quotes

Question: What British Prime Minister said, “One half of the western world worships a Jew and the other half a Jewess?”

Answer: Benjamin Disraeli

Read Full Post »

Jesus, Obama and Ahmadinejad: Messiahs or Not Messiahs?

While in New York to speak at the United Nations, Iranian President and Chief Anal Sphincter Mahmoud Ahmadinejad met with some misguided Jews who seek the dismantling of the state of Israel.

Ahmadinejad told the ten or so schmegeggies from Neturei Karta International, “Zionism has greatly weakened and, God willing, it will be destroyed soon and then all Jews, Muslims and Christians can live peacefully with one another.”

The anti-Zionist Jewish organization believes Israel shouldn’t have been established before the coming of the Messiah. It seems they fail to recognize that billions of people believe Jesus was the Messiah. And he was, in that they’ve annointed him as such. It’s obvious Jesus wasn’t what the Jews were hoping for, but what the hey, it seems Messiah or no Messiah, we got Israel back. Works for me.

If they don’t think Jesus was the Messiah, they probably think Obama is.

Read Full Post »

Mohammed Flew On Carpets and Jesus Walked On Water

There’s a scientific explanation for how Jesus could have walked on water. Maybe he was a land-locked dolphin. Somehow he got stuck in the Sea of Gallilee. We know humans can’t walk on water, so this is my working hypothesis. Similarly, since we know humans can’t fly on carpets, I wonder what kind of animal Mohammed could have been.

Does this mean Christians and Muslims have a bit of the anti-human in them?

Wild Dolphins Tail-Walk on Water
The tail-walking dolphins were spotted at the coast near Adelaide.

A wild dolphin is apparently teaching other members of her group to walk on their tails, a behavior usually seen only after training in captivity.

The tail-walking group lives along the south Australian coast near Adelaide.

One of them spent a short time after illness in a dolphinarium 20 years ago and may have picked up the trick there.

Scientists studying the group say tail-walk tuition has not been seen before, and suggest the habit may emerge as a form of “culture” among this group.

Read Full Post »

Right-Wing Blog on the Left?

How can it be? Is there such a thing as a right-wing blog that’s way over on the left?

I ask because after being silent for way too long, it’s happened one too many times for me to continue to maintain my silence. The most recent time it happened was while reading JJG Journal, something I feel it’s safe to say is a liberal blog. The article in this liberal blog that I was reading was entitled “Obama a ‘leftist’?”

The author wrote, “Had a little time on my hands this morning and scanned some right-wing blogs.” Underneath he provided a list and about the 5th one down was TMQ2. The author went on to say that he was surprised to find “the consensus on the right fringe seems the be that Barack Obama is some kind of leftist. Huh? Can think of two explanations for this lack of fact-based thinking.” And then he listed his reasons Obama isn’t a leftist.

I don’t really care how far off track JJG Journal or any other blog is when it defines whatever it’s writing about. But considering TMQ2 is often referred to as a “right-wing” blog, and because the JJG Journal author is so proud of his “fact-based thinking,” I just wanted to point out a few items about this so-called right-wing blog:

Read Full Post »

Original Lie — Original Sin

On July 11, 2008 I posted a piece entitled “Jesse Jackson’s Nuts and Obama’s Balls.” With gonads in our presidential debate, it seemed fitting to launch into a discussion of truth, based on the principal’s bonafides. There was no way you could have known that from the testicular title, that the article was about TRUTH, and how it is up there near or at the top of Jewish values. To drive my point home, I quoted some pertinent sources.

What I didn’t say, is although truth is paramount among Jewish values, the same cannot be said about Christianity and Islam, since both are based on an Original Lie. Christians make a big thing about Original Sin, but that’s just a smokescreen for their Original Lie.

Christianity’s Original Lie is that Jesus was the product of a virgin birth. That’s not only impossible, it’s absolutely impossible because a female human cannot give birth to a male human without a Y chromosome. This is not possible if the female is a virgin. Case closed.

Islam’s Original Lie is that Mohammed was descended from Ishmael, Abraham’s son. In the absence of a robust oral tradition to that effect, with millions descended from Ishmael, it is not possible that Mohammed, out of the blue, could have known his lineage going back 2,500 years.

When you read his Koran it becomes immediately apparent that he was very well acquainted with Judaism and the Torah. But it is equally as apparent that he didn’t have a hint or a clue to trace even a vestige of his lineage back 2,500 years all the way to Abraham.

With the Jews, we know so many generations of even our earliest ancestors. Not so with Muslims. Therefore, both Islam and Christianity are brothers in that they both share their starts from an Original Lie.

Read Full Post »

New Testament and Old Testament; Jews and Hebrews

Early on when I first met Lance, I noticed he referred to Jews as “Jewish People.” He was uncomfortable using that term, “Jew,” in front of me. He was trying to be polite. To him, the term “Jew,” was derogatory. When I knew him better I started to open up and in time he learned to be comfortable with the words Jew and Jews around me, and eventually he stopped hearing what he was taught to hear when he had heard those words up until then.

Over time there were many other nuanced tidbits Lance and I would eventually talk about. One, if my recollection serves me correctly, was the usage of “New Testament” and “Old Testament.”

On July 8, 2008 I wrote a piece entitled “Moses and Jesus” in which I mentioned both Moses and Jesus, and I spoke of the New Testament. In case anyone was wondering why I didn’t also use the term “Old Testament” when speaking of Moses, it’s because, although the term “Old Testament” is taken for granted by so many now,

Read Full Post »

Moses and Jesus

Moses is obviously important. Some might say seminal. The roles he played, he was strong, brave, a diplomat, he had tremendous leadership skills, and when he had to be, he was able to make whatever decisions the situations called for. And he is accorded an important role in what the development and history of Judaism.

Jesus is also important.

Read Full Post »

Jesus Was Not God, the Son of God, or the Messiah

Jesus wasn’t the son of God. Nor was he the messiah. Nor was he God. Each of these ideas originate in misinterpretations of words and what they used to mean. For instance, Paul the Apostle was the first to call Jesus the “Son of God.” At that time, when the term was used in Israel, it

Read Full Post »

The Foolish Message of Christ

The authors of “Understanding The New Testament” (by Howard Clark Kee, Franklin W. Young and Karlfried Froehlich) wrote:

“the preachers of the Gospel claimed that Judaism did not really understand the import of its own scriptures, but that the Christians did. What the God of Israel intended and what he had promised were now actually fulfilled in the coming of Jesus as Messiah and in its consequent effects on the Christian community.

The Greek hearers of the Gospel had just as great difficulty with it, though on different grounds. They were familiar with claims of various religions that a certain divine man or a certain god masquerading as a man–whether Osiris or Adonis or Dionysius–had died and then been restored to life, thereby becoming savior of those who worshiped him. But the claim that an historical figure who had been recently executed as a criminal had now been exalted by God and was the savior of the world–such a claim was utterly foolish. In full recognition of ‘the folly of what we preach’ (I Cor. 1:21), Paul continued to proclaim to Greeks the ‘foolish’ message of Jesus Christ crucified and risen from the dead.”

Read Full Post »