…by Wacking Yourself Now!
Billy got the brains, the looks (what little there were to be had), and the beer. Jimmy got all the oil-soaked Arab sausages up his six o’clock he could ever want (or any man could withstand)…and still he returns to the Middle-East and bends over for more…more more more…gimme gimme gimme…
Jimmy gets the prize for being the most irritating Frank Burns-like turd ever. He openly betrays his country while shrewdly fooling the lefty-penis lickers into thinking he’s some kind of hero.
Jimmy Carter is a huge black mark for America and Americans. He was by far the worst president ever, and we’ve had some real losers (like LBJ), so this is going quite a stretch to place him at the top of White House buffoons. He follows this dubious distinction by also winning the title of worst former president ever. It’s true. He wins on both counts, hands down.
This man is in his mid 80s. Is it to much to ask that he not claim a third prize: Longest living ex president ever?
Jimmy, please, the world has had enough. Likewise, I’m sure your well-worn anus has had enough.
There comes a time in every human’s life when it’s his or her time to go. Yours is past due. Please do the honorable thing (for the first time in your life) and impale yourself on a goddamn pick axe, throw yourself under a tractor, drop the electric radio in your bathwater, swallow a truckload of arsenic, drown yourself, or whatever. Just please go the fuck away you worthless shit-bag.
When you do eventually meet your maker (the Devil), there will be so many folks dropping by to piss on your grave that Georgia will eventually be flooded and washed into the Gulf of Mexico. The Gulf will become the worlds largest cesspool (yet another dubious record will be set by you). But we don’t care. You’ll be gone and the world will rejoice in your death. It will be the happiest day since platform shoes and disco atire went out of style.
There’s so much more, oh so much more I could write here, but I’m weary and need to wrap this appeal up and post it.
Have a heart. We can’t take anymore. Besides, Arafat et al are anxiously awaiting your arrival for the biggest reunion circle jerk of the millennium — held in honor of selfish, lying, flimflamming, self-centered garbage just like you.
Please Jimmy, how about right now? Go for it man. Wack yourself and make this habitat better for humanity. Be a man…do it!
Just think of it as an honor killing. It’s the term (excuse) your terrorist and Muslim buddies use all the time when killing close family members.
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Also check out: The Jimmy Carter Un-Presidential Library. If you’re a masochist, this page of links to Jihad Jimmy articles is sure to stir your juices. Just fasten your seat belt and click on the link to be transported to the mental S&M chamber of Carter horrors.
Wow, you guys are great.